Curious, I read the article and learned that, it was about a girl who studies in a State University. A typical college kid who was basically happy go lucky; joined a student organization-then further immersing oneself to causes; becomes one of the rebels and eventually- died during a military encounter.
I was disturbed- such a waste... she could've done more, she could've been more productive. I also realized that we have similarities- not just physical.
I was once like her, I love going out with my college friends, we went to this Pizza place in Harrison or Taft Avenue, watched bands, drank beer then just hang out till the wee hours of the morning- returning-almost crawling our way back to our beds- just before the nuns wake up and inspect our dormitory room. Then we got "invited" to join this student organization- then things-just changed. Our "gimmik" nights turned into meetings and "studies" of Maoist ideologies. We were immersed in the realities of life by visiting and participating rallies and picket lines. We learned to commune with the urban poor and farmers. Words like freedom, oligarchy, Imperialism and Socialism were so heavily pounded on our heads that we basically live and breathe Mao Tse Tung's ideologies- we considered him father - and looked at him in an almost god-like way; a deity of socialist equality and freedom.
Everytime we have our general assembly- students from different schools who belonged to the same organization "break bread"- shared laughs, debates and Maoist adulation, booze and cigarettes- they drank as if there's no tomorrow, we were cramped in a small place- all 30-40 people- my shirt reeked of cigarette smoke and my eyes got bleary because of too much beer.
They were basically mad at elitist pigs- as they were called (members of the rich and famous) they hate them.
But then- after a few general meetings I realized- is this all there is to it? Observing everybody in the room- I noticed that they were no different from the people that they hate. They wear Levi's, Nike, Ralph Lauren and other designer shirts, drank San Miguel Beer, gin or Tequila, smoked cigarettes such as Marlboro, Philip Morris, Winston. One drunken evening I blurted to the group- "since we are so damned angry at these "burgis" why the hell are we drinking and smoking their wares? why do we love to use these- clothes that are produced by the very same country that oppresses us? why do we still patronize their culture that we call trash?"
There was silence in the room...I was mentally preparing myself to be thrown out of the room- but then- the so-called "secretary general" of the org. praised my observation, even pointed out that what we preach should might as well be practiced... I decided to attend another "general assembly" after that, but seeing no change, I never attended the succeeding general assembly again.
A few weeks before my summer vacation that year- we were "assigned" to stay and live with a peasant farmer's family for a month. That month-long stay proved to be the most life-altering because, not only did we realized the hardships of being a peasant farmer; we also got the chance to meet some kasama's (rebels) who came down from the mountains just to meet us personally, apparently, the news about our presence in the sitio reached them . We had a few minutes to get to know them- and they getting to know us- since obviously, they cannot stay long.
I was at a crossroads after that, will I join them and fight for the cause?-or go on like any normal civilian should? I chose the latter, why? Because I see it pointless to go up to the mountains and carry firearms, I believe that if you really want change, you have to start from within- you just cannot memorize and take heart all those Maoist ideals if you yourself cannot curb your appetite for your so called-capitalist things, you cannot preach equality at gunpoint and you cannot show them the beauty of freedom -if you yourself remain a slave of hatred.
Lots of people are living day to day with hand to mouth existence because of lack of education. Why not be like Efren Peñaflorida and teach streetchildren? Or be like the ABS-CBN Volunteers who- even if they have so little material things to share they are willing to give their time and effort to people who have lost everything during calamities. We are still struggling, the 'cause' is still there, but this time-the war is not confined in the mountains; it is nearer, it is around us, it is within...
We do not need to die for things that can be changed- we only have to move forward, not to the mountains, but to the communities who need to fight off poverty and lack of education concretely.
We do not need guns, we only need hands and open hearts.
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